The last few weeks have been a constant rerun of Pride and Prejudice, both reel and literature. The first time I read this wonderful masterpiece by the infallible Jane Austen, I was 13. Unable to comprehend most of the vocabulary and the depth of the story, I wasn't able to appreciate the love story inside the realist's eye. Now, being 25, been in love, heartbroken, healing and maturing, I can appreciate the story better. It's a story that all of us can relate to. It's the question we ask ourselves often, is he the right person for me? How can I believe this insolent, insufferable man can be my match? Well, as cheesy as the tag line for the movie is, it is sometimes true, for some people at least.
I've met a Mr.Darcy before. I fell for that Mr. Darcy. But he didn't turn out to be the loving, pained, longing person, the real Mr. Darcy was. He was proud of his birth, his origin and his disdain for the feelings of others, could have turned mere mortals away. But, he captivated me. He was the enigma your mothers always tell you to avoid. Yet at some point in our courtship, he was vulnerable, awkward but never longing. That chapter has now ended...
Reading on, watching the movie, I believe I am so much like Elizabeth Bennet. I have a sister like Lydia, who is a determined flirt, trying her best to be in public and making herself noticeable. My father is like Mr. Bennet, uncertain of the way to be there for us, but he is there. The love and fear for us, thinking who will take care of us once he can no longer do so. I have a mother like Mrs. Bennet, always fussing around not on the subject of marriage but more on the subject of losing weight and education. I have a sister like Jane, sensible, beautiful and like Jane, she never really shows me her true feelings.
I am much like Elizabeth. I am loud, opinionated, intelligent, independent and cleverness sometimes can be my enemy. I am very much like her, except i am not beautiful. I have a sensible head on my shoulder and i try not to let my heart rule my head. Propriety is something i have to work with, as i said, i am like Elizabeth, the 2010's version of her, that is.
Like Austen's book, Mr. Darcy was the only man worthy enough for Elizabeth in her father's eyes. Who will be worthy enough for me? Will i ever meet my own Mr. Darcy? I begin to wonder, is there such a Mr. Darcy for me? One who could match up to me with such audacity, spirit and love. I want that kind of love that left Mr. Darcy with the pained, longing expression every time he looked at her.
People say I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe i am... Maybe i have this warped perception of love and how it works. I maybe a fool for love but certainly not a fool. Love makes people do great things and go to many lengths to prove it. Like Mr. Darcy did, by helping Lydia and owning to the fact he was mistaken about Jane and helped fixed the relationship between Jane and Mr. Bingley. That is all i ask, a pure, sensible enactment of love...
The clever yet not handsome Ms. Lucas once said, "There are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement." I admit it, I am one of those people. I need encouragement and assurance...
To my future Mr. Darcy, I implore you to understand, I will love you with all my being, i will cherish you with all my love, all i ask of you is to show me your love and to encourage me, to be in love with you...
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